Our Victory

It's been one week today since I could not deny any longer that our Victory was in Heaven. The last two weeks have been a flood of tears, sorrow, anger and hope. As I sit here and try to type out what I'm feeling now and what the last 2 weeks have been like I'm at a loss. Losing a baby is so much more difficult that I could have ever imagined. I think for me a lot of the difficulty is fear over other people forgetting Victory. That was one reason I wanted to give our baby a name. I know that for some people Victory was not a "real" baby. They did not see our baby, touch, feel or smell our baby and for some that is the requirement for something being real. Some people may think that it should be easy for us to get over the loss of our child, we never felt our baby or saw our baby. Let me tell you, it's not easy. It is a loss of our child, a lifetime of dreams that we had for Victory. We will not hold our child this side of heaven and it hurts terribly.
This is where the hope comes in. As I'm wracked with pain and grief I realize that my precious Victory will never feel this way. Our baby went directly from the comfort of my womb into the arms of Jesus, never feeling a moments pain or grief. I have hope in knowing that because I'm choosing to follow Christ I will hold my child again. I want everyone I know to meet our child in Heaven! If you do not have the hope of Heaven, if you are not living your life for Christ and trusting in God with your life, to lead you and to guide you and if you are not following God's will for you no matter how difficult it is then I plead with you to reconsider. This life and all of it's temptations and all of it's momentary pleasures will quickly fade, but there is an eternity to live afterwards. This is where we will have victory! Victory over death that leaves us in Heaven with God! This is why we chose the name Victory for our baby, our child has already won.